We get what we want in life. We get what we truly, deep down, really want and desire in lifeThe thing that we truly desire is the thing that we will focus on. And we will achieve it because we, as humans, have developed the ability to get what we focus our minds on.

What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve. 
- Napoleon Hill

If you are not getting what you want from life, it may be because you are trying to get what you think you want, but not what you truly want. Are you focused on the thing that you think you want 24/7? Do you brainstorm over the thing you think you want? Do you wake up in the middle of the night with a new approach? Or do you find yourself daydreaming about the thing that you really want? What do you desire from life? What would really excite you? This is what you really want from life! This is the thing you should be focusing on because you already are! So take some time (maybe a long time) to figure out what really excites you. That's your goal in life. Your purpose.

“The ultimate end of life is the development of character.” - Aristotle

Now The Easy Part
After you know what you desire from life, you need to make a plan. Wait. Before you start making a plan, you need to figure out if you are willing to pay the price required to attain what you truly desire in life. Nothing is free, and the best things in life are not cheap. But if this is what you truly desire, you will be willing to pay whatever it takes to attain it. Well, almost anything. This may help you figure out if you really want it. You need to create a vision of who you want to be and who you want to be with.

Okay, now you need to start making a plan. This could take a while (maybe a long while). In fact, you might end up spending a lifetime seeking this goal. But, you know what? That's the truly awesome thing. I think it is even the secret, secret thing that Napoleon Hill was trying to get across to everyone. If you spend your life working towards  the one thing that you truly desire in life. The thing that you are most passionate about. The thing that makes you jump out of bed every morning ready to attack the day. You will find yourself caring less and less about achieving that "thing." You will be doing all the things that a person is supposed to be doing to be happy. And guess what? You are experiencing happiness! Cliche' alert! - It's not the destination, it's the journey.

Your success in life depends more on the person you
become than on the things you do or acquire.
- Brian Tracy

Whatever you thought your true desire in life was, if it wasn't happiness, if it wasn't something that would truly excite you, you probably struggled to attain it because it wasn't what you deep down desired. But if you find yourself working daily toward what you truly desire in life, then ta da, you have already succeeded! You are successful! You have achieved success in the only thing that really matters in life! Being happy. Congrats!

Because... happiness or its attainment is the ultimate goal of mankind. Really, it is. Again, go check out the Happiness page or read a few more quotes:

People are strongly, perhaps even primarily, perhaps even single-mindedly,
motivated to feel happy. - Dan Gilbert

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim 
and end of human existence.” - Aristotle

Wait. That was way too easy.

Where to Start
The first step we need to take is taking a look in the mirror and asking ourselves some tough questions like - "How did I get here?" and "How am I responsible for this?" and really investing some time to find the answers.

Ultimately, by discovering the answers to these questions, you may realize that you are ready to disassociate yourself from the programming of your childhood and then start to develop a new path of your own design. A path filled with happy experiences that lead, ultimately, to a life of contentment.

But be prepared, this can be a long and sometimes painful process. While you may not have chosen this path initially, you are the one that has chosen to continue on it. No one wants to believe that their unhappiness is self-inflicted, but once you are able to accept this, it puts you in charge and allows you the freedom to move forward. 

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."

The Tough Part
The thing that you really need to spend your time on is not achieving your life's desire, but figuring out what it is. For most people, what they think they want, is not what they really want because they have been programmed that way. From childhood to adulthood, we have been programmed to think, feel, and act in a way that society says we should. So we base our life's goals and desires on what society tells they should be. Society is rarely right when it comes to telling us what our deepest desire is. 

Figuring out what you really want from life is going to involve some reprogramming.

So Start Your Reprogramming:
  • Take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself - "Is this where I want to be?" If not, then ask yourself - "How did I get here?" or "How am I responsible?"
  • Once you figure this out (it may take a while), then start figuring out who you want to be and where do you want your life to go (this is the reprogramming part).
  • Then figure out what you will need to do to become that person. This could take even more time. No one said it was going to be quick and easy.
  • Finally, when you have figured out who you want to be and how you will become that person, you should ask yourself if being this new person will excite you. Will you be excited doing the things that this new you will be doing.
  • If you are thoroughly excited to become this new person, then you have discovered your life goal and you are on your way!
Success - Being able to live your life in your own way, doing only those things that you want to do, with the people who you choose, in the situations you desire.
- My personal favorite definition of success

How To Get There? Here's a possible start...
From Herbert Gray’s long-term study - After eleven years, he finally concluded that the common denominator of success was that “successful people make a habit of doing the things that unsuccessful people don’t like to do.” And what were those things? It turned out that the things that successful people don’t like to do are the same things that failures don’t like to do either. But successful people do them anyway because they know that this is the price that they have to pay if they want to enjoy greater success and rewards in the future. Goal Achieving vs. Tension Relieving.

“Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure” - Thomas J. Watson (Founder of IBM).

We will only allow ourselves to be judged to the level that we judge ourselves. Anything more and we will rebel.

Further Study:

The obstacle is the way